Day 9, 14-day UX Writing Challenge

Nana Martinson
2 min readSep 20, 2023

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Photo by Raivis Razgals on Unsplash

The Prompt

UX Writing Challenge: Day 9
Scenario: The user is trying to rent a car using an application but the credit card on file has expired.

Challenge: Write them an error message so that they can correct the problem.

Headline: 30 characters
Body: 45 characters

Ideation Process

Today’s user is Kwame. Kwame is trying to rent a car. Unfortunately, the card he attempted to use for the transaction has expired. Thus, the transaction has failed, and he will be presented with an error message.

It is possible that Kwame may be unaware of the status of his card (perhaps it expired yesterday, and he honestly forgot the date), and this failed transaction would present itself as an inconvenience to him.

In order to write a good error message, it is important to identify the problem, explain its cause, and give a solution (if it exists).¹

In this case, the elements of a good error message would be as follows

Problem: The user cannot complete the transaction necessary to rent a car.

Cause: Their card is expired, and does not allow the rental company to access their payment.

Solution: The user uses another card, or another payment method.

Based on this, the copy for the error message can be as follows:

Headline: Let’s Try Again.

This headline encourages the user to try again in a friendly tone.

Body: The card is expired. Update Payment Method.

The problem is presented simply to the user without laying blame on them. It is important that error messages do not blame users, because users are very interested in seamless service, and would genuinely avoid errors if they could.

‘Update Payment Method’ is added as a button to allow the user to change their payment method from the expired card, to one that is currently active. Using this language will also allow for users to change their payment method completely if they decide not to use a card payment for this purpose anymore.

Goals

  • To tell the user about the problem, while minimising their discomfort
  • To give the user an opportunity to use another payment method.

Result

Thanks for reading, and see you on Day 10! Don’t forget to comment!

If you’re new, you can find my other challenges here.

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Nana Martinson
Nana Martinson

Written by Nana Martinson

sharing my UX Writing journey one prompt at a time....

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